


You take me to Nirvana

by FlirtyHale



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mild spoilers for Cap 2, after Iron Man 3, the affects of Tony not having his reactor, together at last
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-26
Updated: 2014-04-26
Packaged: 2018-01-20 20:40:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,070
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1524857
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FlirtyHale/pseuds/FlirtyHale
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Talk to me" He answered<br/>"You probably want to get to DC quick,Stark."</p>
            </blockquote>





	You take me to Nirvana

**Author's Note:**

> First fic for these two from me. Been shipping these two superhusbands for almost 2 years now i would say. and i happened to see Winter Soldier over a week ago and it got me back on the bandwagon of binge watching IM123 thor 1&2 Cap 1 and Avengers. Therefore this was stuck in my mind and i just finally got it after 48 hours and its currently 2:24 am.
> 
> I dont have a beta so all grammar mistakes are mine even though i double checked like 5 times.
> 
> Oh and title is from Sam Smith's song Nirvana because it fits actually really well for this.

He was somewhere in the middle of Italy, sipping on fine wine enjoying the grand life of doing absolutely nothing- when his phone rang. JARVIS promptly announcing in his ear piece that it was Agent Romanov.

He didn't want to answer- the taste of the word "Mute" were faint on his lips but instead he tapped on the small device letting the call go through.

"Talk to me" he answered

"You probably want to get to DC quick,Stark."

He knew it. He knew his subconscious wanted him to pick up Natasha's call. She briefly explained what had happened. He explained he had not paid any attention to the news since-well...

The 16 hour flight could've been a lot less stressful if he had- he tapped his chest right around where the reactor would be. New flesh covered the area leaving no trace that he had shrapnels before his heart or an electromagnet sitting in his chest. All those suits- gone. He just left on a whim well ignoring every possible article, news report, viral video from the United States during his leave of absence. He made Pepper start her life over, let her buy a house out in the middle of who cares. let her have the time away like she deserved but probably didn’t want. She knew not to bug him, not after how things have been.

Because there was one person. A certain red white and blue patriotic man who constantly remained within his inbox and his missed calls. It was casual at first. How are you? Do you want to meet for dinner? I'm in New York I just thought? Then it got in depth you had your thing removed! you made pepper move away! Where are you really?  Your building is being taken over by shield- can they even do that?  

Then it hit personal

Don't you care?

Have you ever cared?

I thought we had something?

The last message being the worst of it. He'd know what had gone down between them after the New York catastrophe. The late night phone calls that bled into morning, the flying across the country just because of one nightmare, Sleeping on Steve's couch for weeks on end until the super soldier had no choice but to call Pepper. He would leave but show up two days later and one time with an I'm sorry but I need you. Then there were Dinners in LA and breakfasts in New York, sharing beds and stealing glances. No more nightmares no more being afraid just focusing more on each other than the real world that's when it stopped even though it had never begun.

Shield hired Steve to go on missions with Natasha and he essentially moved out from Stark towers and into the apartment complex in DC. They weren't anything and this was the life they had chosen for themselves so they parted ways just like that.

Just like how all Steve's messages we're collected by the same delete button.

 

Except for one time when he got an old fashioned letter about 2 months into his disappearance. So he took it from the butler holding the thin envelope addressed to him in Steve's hand writing between his fingers, Slightly confused about how he even knew where to send the letter too considering there was no address written on it.

He went and sat out on the balcony over looking the town of Taormina a very laid back town on the east coast of Italy that was not even comparable to New York or LA.

He opened the three way folded piece of paper and read it.

Dear Tony

I'm sorry.

\- Steve

He had taught himself to delete Steve's emails, to disable his answering machine, block numbers and get rid of anyone who reminded him of that stupid blonde who he had the pleasure and displeasure of gaining a big fat crush on. But that letter was the last thing that ever came.

And it was a thousand times worse than getting called out on his mistakes.

°°°

He finally gets to DC at 1:30 in the morning. Natasha's there with her car waiting just as Tony runs off the plane and down the steps. They don't speak she just drives not speeding or anything.

"So again what happened?"

She doesn't turn her head to look at him "He got shot. Four times."

"By who?"

She slams on the breaks in the middle of a deserted road "Look.Things got bad and are going to continue to get worse. It's better if you don't know for now."

"Geez that's great. Guy goes away for a few months and suddenly can't know nothing about his best friend." He rolls his eyes the words ‘best friend’ feeling weird rolling out of his mouth.

"You never answered any of his emails, texts, calls. He was damn worried about you and you gave not even one crap about letting him know you we're okay." She snaps and he stays silent.

"If he wants you to know he'll tell you." She said with once final huff and presses hard on the gas. She'd looks like she'd been through hell too, a deep cut on her face confirms that.

She didn't look over at him when she pulls up to the front of the hospital just mentions the room number and he gets out by himself. Watching as the black Audi she’s driving speeds away. Now knowing who got that letter from Steve to him.

He walks into the bright white lights of the hospital that turn into yellowish hue from his sunglasses, he suddenly met by a group of nurses rushing a in-critical conditioned man down the hallway. His mind flashes the ex war veteran's face onto the dying man, increasing his heart rate by 50 percent he had to take a step back and an extra moment to recollect himself before continuing down the hallway to the elevators.

Room 5005 is the one Natasha had spit out to him and he’s now standing awkwardly just before the door. He doesn’t want to go in, doesn’t think he could bare seeing the man all bruised and beaten because if Tony had just kept his arc reactor and kept at least one ill made suit he could've stayed. He should've stayed.

He hears footsteps coming from around the corner figuring some nurse coming to scold him that visiting hours were over so he just slipped carefully inside the room. Turning to shut the door with a silent click. He turns back around to see tired blue eyes staring at him from the hospital bed.

Slowly he steps closer to the bed well pulling off his shades. The soldier’s face is covered in cuts and the way the morphine is dripping from the IV tube says that he had a few cracked ribs plus the multiple bullet wounds.

"When'd you get here?" The tired man says

"A few minutes ago. Would've been here sooner if I had-" he taps his chest and sits down in the chair next to patriotic man.

"Well you're here now." His mouth turns up at the corner.

"You're not wrong." He flashes a wide smile well going to rest his arms on the bed mere centimetres from touching the other man "How are you?"

"Eh, everything hurts but I saved a lot of people."

"Are you turning reckless? Do I need to drag you to Italy with me?" He tries to joke but watches as Steve's face falls instead.

"So that's where you've been hiding from me."

That hit a sore spot "Wasn't hiding from you-" "was hiding from everything that could hurt you." He says quietly but Steve hears anyways.

"You left to protect me?"  

"Sounds kind of a dumb idea when you say it"

The small smile returns to Steve's lips "I appreciate the thought." He pauses "How are you doing?"

"I didn't come here to talk about me-"

"But I'm the one asking"

"Do you want me to lie or the blunt truth"

"Blunt truth" Steve says matter of factly

He sighs hard "I don't even know why I got the thing removed, it should still be here. Even if one malfunction could kill me. I helped a lot of people! But i thought getting rid of it would help me but now I'm not so sure..." He swallows hard "I worry about all the things I could be doing, How i could be helping. That part of me that wants it all back. So strange i know.” He says well getting up from his chair and turning to the window that’s over looking downtown DC.

 “It’s been months since and i still find myself making plans and building things that's have no purpose because that thing isn't apart of me anymore!" He points to his chest, probably likely to get bruises from the amount of times he touches that area. "I can't sleep because I'm worried about some new war going down over here and I'm too afraid to look at the news reports to see if I'm right. I block all phone calls and emails and texts from you so you'd just forget that I don't matter anymore because take away the suit, what am i?"

"Tony-"

"You were right! You were right..."He sighs defeatedly, eyes glassy in the minimal light coming from the hallway.

"I hope you know i never meant it like that. We were pissed off at each other, barely even acquaintances at that point. I'm sorry that- that was ever even said. It was a low point something to really hit home I didn't ever imagine it would affect you this much. I just- I'm sorry."

He shutters thinking of that letter he got back in Italy how those two words made him feel ridiculously guilty. And it’s only kept building. So he nods and sits back down in the chair not showing that he’s a mess on the inside "Thanks- I'm not proud of what I said either."

"It was along time ago, I believe we've grown past that point."

"Look at us. Iron man without his Iron and Captain America who got almost got beaten to a pulp."

Steve lets out a small huff of a laugh "Thanks"

"Don't mention it."

It gets quiet quickly, just the soft sounds of a machine rumbling off in the corner of the room. "You know you don't have nothing..." Steve says

"Well yeah of course I don't. I guess that was kind of a self pity moment-" Steve turns his head to glare at him "but continue."

"I was going to say that you still got me."

Tony's face softens

“And if it’s any consolation i think considering your history is that you have to build and tinker to be able to keep living, i don’t think you could ever give that up and live properly. That and booze.” He gives him a cheeky smile.

“How do you know me, more than i know myself?”

Steve rolls his head back and closes his eyes with a grin "opposites attract?"

Tony takes it as a viable answer and relaxes more into the chair. Planning on sleeping in the uncomfortable chair till tomorrow. He could get away with it. Closing his eyes and crossing his arms closer into his body.

"Are you gonna stay home now?" Steve asks cautiously

"Depends if you plan to stay here or not." Tony asks with his eyes still shut

"I think I've earned a little vacation time."

His eyes shoot open "Guess I should go get my tower back then?"

“I think that’s a good plan…” He pauses “But first i think you owe me something.”

“What’s that?” He says well standing up

“Something you’ve wanted for a while but are too much of a coward to ask for and i’m to much of a prude to try. That’s why the pain medication is speaking for me right now when i say just kiss me already.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

So he does it, before the super soldier changes his mind. Pressing his lips lightly to the other mans, soft enough because he didn’t want to hurt the soldier even more but passionate enough that he’ll taste the scent of Steve for the rest of the night.

"I'll see you in the morning capsicle?"

"You know where I'll be."

**Author's Note:**

> Good? Bad? Don't ever write for these two ever again? I don't know. My big worry is being OOC and i really hope its not. 
> 
> Good things and constructive criticisms only please! Thank you for reading!


End file.
